I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
