This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
