The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
