I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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