May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
