she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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