How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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