I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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