I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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