My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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