I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
