this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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