I feel like abortions should bother me more
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
