I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
