walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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