my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize