You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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