Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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