No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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