wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
