ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
