with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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