i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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