i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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