I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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