First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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