CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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