when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
