I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
