i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
