as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
