My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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