now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize