My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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