i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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