I must be too annoying 4 u.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize