woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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