C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
