i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
