i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
