Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
