I puked a lego.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
