is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
