No stitches, just platelets and will power
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
