It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
