I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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