i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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