Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
