I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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