I want you more than these girls want KFC
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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