I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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