Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
