My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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