so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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