He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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