Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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