jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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