I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
