i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
