True but thats because hes a fetus.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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