btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize