I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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