Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize