i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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